During the last two weeks, before we went into lockdown, we created descriptive sentences, based on the description by Jackie French of one of the settings in our novel - the bus shelter. My challenge to them was to try and encapsulate the setting in one sentence… a difficult task. The sentences were drafted, written and then emailed to me, where they were then compiled into an email to Jackie French….

Good Afternoon Jackie,

We are a class of Year 5 and 6 students from Shortland, a suburb of Newcastle.

We have been focussing on writing descriptive sentences, and as we are reading “Hitler’s Daughter, we decided to have a go at writing one sentence to describe the scene at the bus shelter from your description at the beginning of the story.

• The cement thick rain plunged onto my nippy back as I squelched through the dense mud, avoiding the motionless cow poo. Isla
  
  
• As the water trickled down the yellow tin roof, the cows sneezed softly without Mark noticing. – Levi

• The rain trickled down the curved roof of the bus shelter, which was painted with a gloomy, yet beaming yellow. Elsie
  
  
• The raindrops dripped through the tiny crack in the yellow, curved tin bus shelter where Anna was telling a ripper of a story about Hitler's daughter. Harry
  
  
• The clouds shook, emptying the greatness collected from earth. * ting * The rain dropped off the bush shelter on to my cold, goosebump-covered neck. – Annalise
  
  
• The water, seeping through the new, but aging bus shelter, had Mark wondering why an old, rusty flop of an idea was made in the middle of paddocks behind Dirty Butter Creek. Cooper
  
  
• The steaming hot cow dung waited for the shovel as the cows, mournful, surrounded the bus shelter attracted to the bright, shinning, yellow curved tin. Lily
  
  
• As the cows huddled up, I sat on the seat underneath a curved, yellow bus shelter which was a huge flop. The rain drops dripped down my neck but what was worse was the squished cow poo scent. Sonia
  
  
• The yellow paint came off the tin bus shelter as the rain pealed it off like dead skin. Georgina
  
  
• As the cries of the cows harmoniously drifted through the thick muggy dark abyss, the children waited impatiently under the bright yellow tin bus shelter. While they were filled with boredom the children told fibs to each other to pass the time, while at the same time rain drops dripped down their frozen backs. Julian
  
  
• As the small yellow bus shelter stood there waiting for the storm to finish, Mark was listening to the wind blow against the bus shelter and the rain falling on the top of it. Tahlia
  
  
• A rusty, tin, pure golden, leaky bus shelter with an unshakable stench of cow dung stood waiting for anything to come. Caleb
  
  
• The yellow light from the bus stop looked like gold, but the mud looked disgusting, and the cow manure made it worse. Fin
  
  
• The rain pelted heavily from the sky, like tears. Drips came through the cracks of the yellow, tin roof and down onto the wooden seat, dampening the spot where Mark was sitting. Marley

We know that you are a very busy person but would love some feedback on our sentences.

Thanks Jackie,

Penny McGann and 5/6.

 And we got feedback…

Jackie French AM

We are now working on using JUST the right amount of ‘salt’ on our creations!